All over the map

All over the map

According to Google, an idol is a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered. I have a few, one of which just passed away yesterday. Here they are:


 

In High School: Freddie Mercury and David Bowie

These two guys were my idols growing up; they still are. I found their creativity, uniqueness, energy, and confidence extremely inspiring. They were truly one of their own kind. They inspired me to be proud of any talents and skills that I had, and to share them when I could with energy! They taught me that it is okay to be weird and stand out. Even though both of them have passed on, their influences on me continue to impact me today in a positive way.

In my first and second year of University: The K-Pop band Bigbang and 2NE1

I went through a K-Pop phase when I was in university for a while. These two were my favorites because both groups have members that had their own special talents (ex. soulful singing, delicate singing, wicked dance moves, great rap skills). They were a breath of fresh air for me because so many K-Pop groups nowadays are super uniform; where their members have similar body types, facial features, and heights. These two bands showed me how, by combining different strengths properly, you can get synergy. 1+1 is now equal to 3, 4, 5… and more! They inspired me to become more well-rounded.

In my 3rd year of university, to the present: Myself

All the good and bad that have happened to me, have led me to this day. I have gone through a lot and I know that there will be more hardships later on in life. But, I’m confident in my strength (both physical and mental). I know that I can deal with whatever life throws at me!


In response to the Daily Post’s Daily Prompt: Teen Age Idol

Who did you idolize as a teenager? Did you go crazy for the Beatles? Ga-ga over Duran Duran? In love with Justin Bieber? Did you think Elvis was the livin’ end?

Dream Log | December 29, 2015

Theme: Facing adversity and believing in myself… through a wrestling dream. Okay, I’ll take it!


Dream:

I was in a wrestling competition. I thought to myself, “Huh. This is weird, I can’t wrestle.” However, I did take a wrestling unit in my Phys. Ed. class in high school. Plus my core and leg strength was not bad. Also, I have been doing some bouldering so my arm and back strength was also decent.

I turned to look at my first opponent… it was my sister!! The match was a blur. I remember myself pinning her down and winning. Then, I defeated a line-up of other people increasing in weight. Soon, I was pitted against a girl that was almost twice my weight.

Suddenly, I remembered my weight. I told the people in charge that she was not in the same weight class as me. I was only 108lbs; she was around 200lbs. The person ignored me and the match began. I changed points of view with someone in the audience and saw my muscles grow twice their size. Then, I saw myself picking up the girl and throwing her over my shoulder and pinning her down.

I won! Even when faced with someone I wasn’t sure I could beat. I wasn’t given the option of backing down and didn’t give myself a reason to. I charged head-on and rose victorious.


Interpretation: Maybe this is my subconscious’s way of telling me that I will be able to conquer any adversity I face in life… as long as I don’t back down. As weird of a dream this was, I feel a very inspired to keep working towards my goals. I will become strong mentally and physically!!

 

Turbulent Emotions

Response to the Daily Post Prompt: Flawed

What is your worst quality?


 

Emotions are powerful. They can fuel your motivation. They can help you connect with others. They can generate all sorts of good feelings.

However.

They can also drive you to want to hurt other people–to react and carry out spiteful actions, in order to hurt the other person for hurting you. In order to “get back” at them.

Cold shoulder. Because by refusing to be in that moment with you, I thought that you would feel regret and realize why it is that I am angry at you, and make amends on your own.

Storing up anger and pretending that everything is fine, until my breaking point. Angry words. Contemptuous glares. When I should have let it out as the small bursts they come in as, or remind myself that I blew the problem out of proportion.

Ignoring. Because I thought that by depriving someone of my care and attention, I could make them feel as neglected as I did… at that moment.

Many times, I have let anger get the best of me. But over time, I learn the true importance of communication, patience, and not letting my ego convince me that I’m ALWAYS right. Over time, I reflect on my emotions and ask myself, “Why is it that this specific situation/action/phrase bothers me so much?” It is when I find out, that the small thought telling me to be reasonable, gains confidence and a stronger voice.

I work to not let my turbulent emotions manifest into actions or words I’ll regret, but they are still a weak point of mine. It’ll be a long process, but I can already see the end.

One moment of hesitation when about to send an angry text,
at a time.

One moment of looking at the situation from the other person’s shoes,
at a time.

One moment of reflective quiet where I ask myself if my thoughts are reasonable, in place of angry quiet,
at a time.

One memory of the other person’s good points, which takes off the blinders generated from anger,
at a time.


 

One day, this will not be my greatest weakness. Then, I shall work on the next one. 🙂